Every December I do a recap of where the business went but this year I’m switching it up and doing more of a personal and photography recap. For the first time ever, I have relinquished control and the need to know details because I know God’s in control.
So let’s go over some of the most amazing moments I documented and went through in 2019!
January – February: I was still healing from the terrible depression I went through in 2018 but I never realized how bad it had gotten until now that I’m out of it. The only thing that kept me going was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel with school and honestly, VOUS. It was helping me find healing, hope, and strength in my relationship with God. In January, I photographed the first client I ever had (from 2011) and it made me realize how far I’ve come with photography!
March: I photographed an event for VOUS for the very first time: VOUS GIRL and that allowed me to realize I was so tired of trying to create a name for myself and my business. It’s crazy because creative individuals all have egos and want recognition and credit for our work but this time I didn’t care for that. I had done it for seven years and when I finally was getting recognized for my work in the wedding industry and my business was taking off, it was lonely and not fulfilling at all! This felt so different.
April-May: GRADUATION! Graduating Summa Cum Laude after being academically dismissed and being able to tell my parents “We Did It!” was a moment I’ll never forget. Having my best friend fly in from New York just to see me get that expensive piece of paper, made me realize how blessed I am.
June: I think June is my favorite month of the whole entire year. I stepped into June with so many things going on but the top three things were photographing and attending VOUS Conference (you can see photos HERE) , getting baptized and shooting a wedding in New York.
Being 1 out of 200+ people getting baptized at the Watsco even in the rain was the best experience all year, even better than graduation.
Not being able to go document the Peru missions trip with MissionsMe was disappointing but, I ended the month shooting a wedding in New York and spent some amazing quality time with my dad on this road trip after suffering a terrible anxiety attack that paralyzed me from getting on a plane. Everything happened exactly how it needed to though, because we even made it to a church service at Elevation church in North Carolina on the way back home.
July – September: To be honest these 3 months are all a blur. I don’t remember anything that was going on but I do know that in these 3 months a lot of healing took place in my heart and my life. The depression was finally going away and I was starting to feel more like myself.
October: This is probably my second favorite month out of the year. I’ve been pretty open to talking about my journey with VOUS. I will always own up to the fact that I was anti-vous before attending my first service on March 4, 2018. Actually, I tell everyone that I cried during the sermon, walked out to watch Janelle get baptized, got in the car and said I’m never coming back here again, I felt like the most bipolar person in the world.
Fast forward to October 2019, I was asked to shoot DawnChere’s baby shower and Wilde’s first photos after being born. As I sat in the waiting room at the hospital I realized God’s sense of humor is incredible, He’s done more in me through that church than in the 24 years I’ve been a Christian. Being able to see what community really means and how loving and grateful my pastors are towards people gave church a whole new meaning for me. It also made me realize how much more judgmental Christians can be than non-believers, because I was definitely one of them.
In October, I also received my acceptance letter for my Masters in Marketing and collaborated once again with The Salvage Snob, finally launching her new website for her Interior Design business. This confirmed for me where I’m hoping to take the business in 2020.
November: I photographed the Brick by Brick dinner hosted by Pastors Rich and DC where I realized I’m tired of watching from the sidelines and that my heart breaks for those that suffer from anxiety and depression in silence. Especially women that feel they have a hard time getting along with other women because I’ve been in their shoes before too and that’s exactly where I feel like God is calling me.
December: I actually started planning this whole recap post while in the shower this morning and I realized how much growth has happened in my life this year. The girl that was locking herself in the bathroom last year for some alone time to cry was actually locking herself in the bathroom (to shower) but to also realize how grateful I am. Grateful that I’ve had to step out of my comfort zone, that my anxiety and depression gave me purpose, that I’ve been off my meds for a little over a month now. I’m even more grateful for all the people God has placed in my life that have been there to listen to me vent, prayed with me and encouraged me to get more plugged in and to become the person God has called me to be; even when I try to push them away they never give up on me. #CheckYourCircle y’all!
To be honest, I have no idea how 2020 can top 2019 but I am absolutely ready for it! God’s faithfulness and love this year has been so unconditional for me, I have no doubt in my mind that all I have to do is just step out in faith and obedience to where God is placing me.