I honestly can’t believe this year is almost gone. It’s been one of the toughest yet one of the best years I’ve had to go through but also one of my favorites. I have been a little MIA from the blog especially since I started school but since I’m taking my business into a whole new direction I figured this would be the best time to do this. I love analyzing where the year has gone and all the changes that have happened during the month of December as I write my business plans and personal goals for the upcoming year. So here goes…
From Academically Dismissed to Dean’s List
Many of you know I went back to school this year. I have always been known to be a bit of a people-pleaser but this year I said “screw it! I can’t keep doing things people’s way anymore”. I had been academically dismissed from FIU a few years back because I honestly hated the major I was in and I stopped caring to go to class. My GPA dropped from a 3.2 to a 1.9 and I got dismissed. This year when I turned 30 I snapped and realized there were still so many things I wanted to accomplish for myself, school being one of them. Fear was paralyzing me though, especially the fear of being rejected once again. After lots of prayer, I went ahead and spontaneously applied for school AND… I was rejected to get into my major of choice because of the low GPA I left school with. An advisor reached out and let me know of an Interdisciplinary Studies (Liberal Arts) major they’d most likely accept me in and how it worked and to give it a shot. She also advised me to apply for Academic Amnesty which allows you to get your GPA reset if you’ve been out of school for more than 6 years. Long story short: I was admitted into the Interdisciplinary Studies program with a focus on Advertising and Marketing, I went from having a 1.9 GPA to a 3.8 GPA and from being Academically Dismissed to being on the Dean’s List. I officially graduate April 2019. I finally got that fresh new start I had been praying and hoping for so much!
The Treatment hurts more than the Trauma
This year I have also been very open and vulnerable to share with people about my experience with anxiety, but the one thing I kept holding back from sharing was my experience with depression. When you suffer from anxiety you’re more likely to suffer from depression. I thought that was a lie until I found myself crying for weeks on straight and not wanting to get out of bed, not wanting to eat, losing weight, and not wanting to see people. I completely isolated myself from everyone I knew because I just didn’t want to talk about it. It’s so easy to put up a front and pretend that everything’s okay while you don’t even know how to deal with your emotions or the dark thoughts that are going on inside your brain.
One day, when I was in the deepest and most darkest pit of my life a friend reached out because she was going through a tough time and needed help. As she reached out I thought to myself “How am I supposed to help her, when I can barely help myself?” But that was the best part of it all, we both needed each other to pull each other out. As I started opening up to a few friends, I realized how much people actually really suffer from anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. I realized we need to learn to be kind because those that seem the strongest are sometimes facing the worst battles “alone”. I learned as I tried to find healing that the treatment was hurting more than the past traumas, but it was worth going through the process to actually heal. I also realized that taking a step back from weddings this year helped my mental health and helped me love my art and the people in a different way.
Now that you all know a little on what has been going on, I plan on still shooting weddings in 2019, as a matter of fact the first one for the year is January 4th. I will lay low during my spring semester because taking five classes is no joke, but once March comes around I’ll start picking it back up. I also plan on expanding the business to working with other creatives within the Wedding Industry in building their brand and their website and helping them market for their ideal clients.
I had been invited to go on a Missions Trip to Peru with Missions Me and document the trip, so I know some of you had also seen the link to the fundraiser and me talking about it, but it turns out one of the things I had always dreamed of came into fruition which was booking a New York wedding. The wedding lands on one of the weekends of the Missions Trip so Peru will have to wait.
Besides all that, the weddings we photographed this year have been some of my favorite ones and I can’t wait to see what 2019 will bring!